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Poetry-Magnet by Artphul1

Graceful writings by DJBoomBase


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Submitted on
July 27, 2011
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Many have died there.

Silent screams echo throughout the deserted corridors,

the blood stained walls whitewashed.



Scarred walls tell the stories.

The stories of pain and hurt.

The stories that tell of dark times.

Times when tears, and screams

of anger and hurt,

seems all that is known.



Distorted nails scrape the walls,

and claw at the bars.

Once strong men resemble skeletons,

as they waste away,

paying for the crimes they comitted,

with no one willing to omit it or forgive.



The guard strolls down the dark corridors;

his face set hard;

his heart as cold as the walls and cells themself.

He is indifferent to what occurs

within the prison walls.



He holds the key,

to the condemned men's freedom...

but does nothing.

He walks on,

ignoring the pain.



Slowly, but surely,

the prisoners succumb to the merciless prison.

The walls bear the scars.

The floor is stained with their blood.

The bars bear scratches.

The corridors remain dark.



The prison lies empty,

but the memories of its inhabitants remain.

The guard still strolls the lonely prisons,

the innermost parts still desolate and painful.

He has become like those he refused to free...

condemned.



Soon...he too, will waste away.

The walls will bear the pain he inflicted.

Darkness will countinue to inhabit the place.
Hey, this is a poem i wrote sometime last year. I don't remember much of what motivated me to write it though. Well....i really liked it and thought i would post it on this site. i found a group that deals with morbid poems so i hope to post it there. I intended for the poem to have certain meanings and if it helps u, great.
anyway, hope u like it1 :-)

p.s. i used the image preview so that readers would decide whether to read it or not. that way instead of choosing mature conent, i can showcase my art...as in the title and still let readers decide whether to read it. if u know what i mean. anyway....hope u like the poem lol.


p.p.s please feel free to comment on the poem. i really want to know what u guys think. :-)
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2011
In this piece, you set a good story. Once again using tons of description, making this more novel than poem. There are some parts where better wording could have been used, but they generally go unnoticed unless you read it a second time around, combing it for it's flaws. You have a very interesting style, which is very prominent in all your works I have read thus far. That's a good thing, people become known because they do things in ways others do not. Always go over your work again and again and again, and make certain it is perfectly smooth, else your not showing off your true potential.
Congrats on another well written piece :)
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2011
*****
I forgot to mention, I wasn't happy with the ending. It was too... classic THIS IS THE ENDING. if you catch my drift. Remember, originality is important.
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:iconrarino:
rarino Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011
wow i loved it.

but:

it should be "p.p.s" (post, post scriptum: after, after message) not "p.s.s" (post scriptum scriptum: after messgae message)
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:icondeanjeno--art:
DEANJENO--art Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011  Student General Artist
thanks!!! :-) I am glad u liked it!
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:iconrarino:
rarino Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011
you're welcome
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:iconsailormoonalltheway:
Sailormoonalltheway Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011
amazing
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:iconimapoetaniknowit:
imapoetaniknowit Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh......................Keep writng man....Holy crap.
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:icondeanjeno--art:
DEANJENO--art Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011  Student General Artist
wow! ur comment reallly made my day. i am glad u like it so much. this is actually one of my favourite poems lol.
Wondered if anyone even liked it. I am glad u actually took the time to write a comment. I really appreciate it. :-)
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:iconimapoetaniknowit:
imapoetaniknowit Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011
ah, it's no problem! I try to comment on everything I look at, because I know I, at least, like to get comments. :D
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